I used to hate her…

A letter to my body

Your thoughts (37) I used to hate her…

Dear Body

We’ve been through a lot. A lot of teasing and many nights spent crying, wishing you were different. Wishing you looked like everyone else. Remember how I only used to dress you in black and oversized hoodies, even when it was boiling outside? I just wanted to hide you and forget that those scars were there.

Remember how I didn’t take you to the matric dance because I couldn’t find a dress that covered your scars? I missed so many opportunities because I was afraid and ashamed of you.

I still remember the day that Candice sent me a photo series of women who had decided to embrace their scars. She would always do nice things like that when I was down. It was the first time I’d seen women who looked like me as strong, bold and unashamed. In them, I saw who we could be. Having a friend like Candice has helped me learn the importance of sisterhood. I am really thankful for Candice, she is a true example of a good friend. Good friends are there to support you through your hardest times, and she made me feel soo beautiful.

All these years I had hated you instead of embracing you. I pushed you away instead of pulling you closer. When the kids teased you, I should’ve stood tall and proud. I’m sorry.

But now, together, we are on this journey of loving. Of me loving you as you have always loved me, protected me and chosen me. And now I choose to love you and protect you, fiercely. From here onwards, I promise to:

  • Treat you better by eating healthy and exercising.
  • will not criticise you. I know you are beautiful just the way you are
  • I will no longer hide your scars. They are beautiful and they mark you as the survivor that you are.
  • I will tell you that I love you everyday and when I don’t feel so loving, I make a list of reasons why we are beautiful.
  • To my body, I promise to do better. I will tell you I love you everyday, treat you like a friend and stand up for you always.

    Love Lee

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